Maid In America

Posted by Lorraine Bartlett

For years, I've been teasing my husband with a line from an old "Bickersons" comedy routine.  (No, I'm not old enough to remember them first-run; I got an old cassette out of the library and learned the routines playing them over and over again.)  In it, Blanche wails, "Why can't I have a maid?"

When I lived in a small bedroom in my parents first house, it was easy to keep tidy.  Same in my first two (small) houses. But then I got married and moved into a sprawling contemporary ranch house.  (The original owners had expanded with four additions, and finished off three-quarters of the basement, too.)  We, therefore, essentially have four living rooms (it only took 11 years to furnish this place), and we rotate their use on a regular basis.

I don't know how I kept the place clean when I worked a full-time job and had a booth in an antiques co-op (for 12 years), and wrote (but not published) books, as well, but somehow I managed.  Now that I don't have to squeeze cleaning and laundry into my life, it's gotten out of hand.

It's been a stressful year, and cleaning the house was not on the top of my to-do list.  So, after talking about it for months (okay, really, a couple of years), we bit the bullet and called a cleaning service, and then stressed about it or a whole week.

I'd always heard of women who clean before the cleaners come.  "That won't be me," I said. 

I lied.

Two hours before they were to arrive, I found myself on my hands and knees cleaning the bathroom floor.  Decluttering took the better part of an hour.  Everything got stashed in my already messy office, which we hadn't contracted for them to clean.  I had to leave to run an errand, so I wasn't there when the two ladies showed up, and wondered if I could find a way to STAY away while they were there.

No such luck.  They were here for over three hours.

It turns out, I'm not the only writer around who has someone in to clean.  One of my (very successful) author pals said hiring someone to come in and clean her house on a regular basis was the best thing she ever did for her writing career.  It freed up hours and hours every week, giving her more time to devote to her career.  (And she has a REAL career.)  Still, I can't help feeling guilty.

Why do women feel they should do it all?  My husband quit cutting the grass three or four years ago.  Same with snowblowing the driveway.  Gutters?  There's a guy for that, too.  Wanna dig up the garden in a big way?  Just pick up the phone.  We both work from home--and usually seven days a week--and he doesn't feel a lick of guilt over no longer doing his "home chores."  So why should I feel like I'm not holding up my end?

Will somebody tell me it's okay to have the house cleaned on a regular basis -- and not by me?  (And by the way, it really is nice to have a clean house!!!)

Comments

[Cher'ley]

I understand. I've hired a cleaning person a couple of times. Three to be exact. LOL. I cleaned each time before they arrived. One was a major disaster. It was suppose to be her and her husband and they were going to clean walls and windows and ceilings. That was it. I left, They didn't realize I had relatives as next door neighbors, they spent a total of 20 minutes at the house. (I was pre-warned by my hubby that you shouldn't let strangers in your house and then leave.) I had left them there alone. They left me a note saying I owed them $60.00. First off, I tripped over the living room throw rugs they had put in front of the door, in a wad. Then the bed was made with those throw rugs under the comforter. They had swept the middle of two floors and that was it. Nothing I had contracted them to do was done.

I sent them a check for $6.00 (way overpaid at that time)and told them not to ask for references.

The other two times went better. The second time was great, the ladies did a wonderful job and the third time was a little disappointing, but acceptable.

[Kate Flora]

I'm on the other side of this--I've created the hereditary retainer. First it was Robert, who was a talented photographer, charming conversationalist, and only okay cleaner, who became known at the The Dread Cleaner Robert. But his mom was a member of the academy and he had preview copies of films that were up for awards.

Now we have Rosemary. She's sweet. Reliable. Her English is getting better. I drove her to the hospital when her water broke while she was cleaning, and so now I guess she's mine for life. She brings a companion who organizes things. My desk looks splendid. I can't find my bills, my clothes, my shoes, or anything else. It has been neatly stacked somewhere. If I leave out a pile of dirty napkins on their way to the laundry, they get folded, or distributed about the house like doilies. But my floors gleam and there is no dust. And if I did it myself, I'd get bogged down in the first room, trying to make those baseboards perfect.

Just think of it as contributing to the economy. And an exercise in patience.

[Ritaestelle Christiano]

Lorraine, it is called the nesting instinct. What we need to remember is that it is the final product - the very clean, orgainized nest - that we are after. Who cleans it, matters not. Having said that, I must admit that I like the feeling of cleaning my house and feeling like I have control over my environment. So maybe there are two parts to it: 1) the nesting instinct and 2) the control-freak thing (lol). I definitely must have both :)

[Lorraine Bartlett]

I wouldn't want anyone messing with my office. I barely know where things are now, if someone else was puttering around here trying to neaten it up, I'd never find anything. (See Kate's comment above.) My "prized" possessions are in cases, and no one touches them but me, so I don't worry about them messing with them. Mostly, they have to clean around the stacks of books and magazines. But -- wow, I love having a really clean kitchen and bathroom. And I'm trying to keep up with the clutter (working so far), so the place stays tidy. (Of course, most of it is now stacked in my untidy office.)

[Leann Sweeney]

Having things clean (not just tidy) has always been important to me. I feel free to write when that's taken care of. Don't feel guilty. You DESERVE to be taken care of, even if this small way.

[Jeanne]

I used to tell friends that if I won the lottery, I'd call my mom and a cleaning service, not necessarily in that order. I have deluded myself into thinking that my retired spouse should serve as chief cook and bottle washer, not to mention floor cleaner, toilet swabber, etc. So far it ain't workin', and he's been retired for several years. Sigh. Envious. Yep, I'm envious.

[Shel Franz]

My mother used to rant that I'd better marry someone rich, because I'd need a maid and someone to do laundry. After 23 years of being on my own, however, I find I like my house clean. I'm a full time student, I work part time, and I have a full time husband and three cats. Things sometimes slide a bit in the housecleaning department, but as long as the kitchen and bathroom is sanitary, I don't stress too much about the rest. There are times when school is hectic and there's more hours than usual at work when I'd love a maid, but I'm afraid one would walk in the door and die of hysterical laughter...